Growing Up

It's puzzling and bemusing, this parenting business. I never really know what to expect from Owl. Much of his life he has no memory of. He likes to hear the stories of "me like a tiny baby." But he doesn't remember the events, just the stories. We visited friends last week that we hadn't seen in a few years, and it was a completely new experience for him.

As a new parent, I assaulted his eyes and ears with educational material, but most of it slid right off like water from a duck's back. Now, more seasoned, I hang back and watch, more passive, letting him take the world by the horns and see what he can figure out for himself.

And so it was that he proudly announced to me and Knightly the other day: "I know what gay means!" OK, you've got my attention, spill. "It's when instead of marrying a woman, a man marries a man, or a woman marries a woman." Well, he was correct, which is what we told him. Then he continued telling me the next thing he learned at camp that day. It's as if he kinda expected his revelation to be a big deal, but when it wasn't, it lost its value to him.

The funny part is, I had explained that to him years ago, and it must not have been important enough for him to remember. I guess who you marry is not a big deal to a five year old, but by seven you have an inkling that there's something special about it, but you are not sure why.

I'll bet he had been hearing the word gay (probably as an insult, if I recall playground days), and knew it had some particular meaning, but did not ask because it might get him in trouble. Then, when someone finally explained it to him, he wanted to show off to us that he had acquired this elusive, grown up knowledge.

How many other things that I thought I had taught him will he "learn" in second grade? Will he learn them from my point of view, of with someone else's bias? He is a sweet, idealistic, naive boy, and he doesn't understand prejudice. But I am not so naive and idealistic to believe that will last forever (I am pretty darned idealistic, but I am getting jaded). Will he continue to share values with me and his father? Is it wrong for me to hope he does?

Facebook

I now have more Facebook Friends than friends in real life!

Actually, Facebook is great for introverts like me. I get to watch from the sidelines as conversations swirl around me, but there's no awkward silence if I have nothing worthwhile to say.

Also, I'm using this as an experiment to stop compartmentalizing my life. Usually, I keep professional contacts separate from friends, and family in a whole other sphere. Why? Do I think my extended family merits different treatment? Does Knightly's cousin in Texas really need to be shielded from what I say to my Aunt in Connecticut, or an old college friend, or a high school acquaintance? I'm not sure. I'm working on it.

It's kind of like my physical clutter. i desire to categorize everything, and then keep it all, regardless of what works. Why not use what I need, and let the rest go?

Hmm...